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Royal Pains

Wednesdays @ 10p ET

USA Network

Let’s be clear, the main title sequence is terrible.  I don’t know what’s going on with that music and those graphics, but that ain’t the show we’re watching. There’s no doubt that USA has cornered the market on quirky procedurals with quirky characters.  If “Royal Pains” was set in Sheboygan, Wisconsin, then it wouldn’t quite be the same.  Here in the Hamptons, however, things are bright and shiny and there’s lots of pink Polo shirts.

Hank Lawson may be the lead and the resident smarty-pants on the show, but as characters go, he’s definitely the everyman.  We come back to see more of Evan and Eddie and Divya and Boris – the strange and funny ones.  And then of course there’s the lifestyles of the rich and famous.  Every week it’s a new art exhibit or garden party or social event of the season.  And every week there’s a new patient whose symptoms include having trouble icing a cake or writing a check.

I would say that “Royal Pains” is a guilty pleasure but it’s not sudsy like that.  We come back to it not to see the next chapter, but rather to spend a little more time with these characters, and to have an aspirational moment of wanting that yacht or that guest house for ourselves.  And that’s fine by me.